Maybe I'm a bad person but I love laughing at another's expense. Those youtube "fail" videos are my jam... And I fully realize that fact makes me a terrible person. But the good thing is I laugh at another's expense, as well as my own! Which is why I decided to humor you and talk about some of my MOST embarrassing moments.
The problem with a lot of my embarrassing moments is that I'm SO MORTIFIED by them that I try to forget them. It's like my brains "protective" mechanism, I can't deal with the reality of what happened so my brain tries to pretend it didn't. However, I can remember a few of them and I'm going to share them with you today.
1. Pregnancy Underwear
Ok, you know how after you have a baby you need some underwear that you can wear for that awkward postpartum time frame? Well I went to Gordman's and got some of the biggest stretchiest underwear I could find. When I came home I tried them on and couldn't believe how far I could pull them up over my 8 month pregnant belly. Imagine humpty dumpty with granny panties on, that's what I looked like. Well, I layed down and started watching TV with these hideous granny panties on and couldn't stop cracking up about how far I could pull them up. Needing to share the humor of it with my husband I took a snapchat picture of the underwear and said, "I can pull this underwear up to my nipples!." Sent--sexy I know. Only problem was... I didn't just send it to my husband. I also accidentally added it to my STORY. Like 20 people saw it before I realized and took it down! Ohhhh mannnnn. That one still makes me blush.
2. Independence Day
This one may not seem like a big deal to some people but I'm going to add you really had to know this lady to completely understand. So one time at work I was sitting down with my boss in her office (who I might add, really intimidated me) and was talking about what holidays I was going to have to work. She was going over them, "Labor day, memorial day... and independence day." I don't know what got into me but when she said independence day I had a total brain fart and was like, "Uhhh when's independence day?" She looked up and was like, "... July 4th?" DUH. Duhhhhh. Oh man. I felt like an idiot on that one, just demote me already. Hahaha.
3. Easy Breezy Beautiful Covergirl
Remember how I used to do modeling? Well one time I was on a fitness shoot out at the salt flats. They brought the clothing for the shoot and had me put it on... some leggings and a tank top. Since it was a fitness shoot we were going to have to do some running and uhhh "fitness-y" stuff. As I was stretching to warm up (You know, standing up and touching my toes etc...) I notice a slight breeze... um... down there. "Strange..." I thought. Well as I went back to change out of the leggings I look and... the crotch area was completely see-through! When I was innocently stretching my legs I was also... well... let's just say more could be seen then I expected. *FACE PALM*
4. First Kiss
I didn't kiss anyone until I was 16. Not necessarily because I was trying to follow the rules... mostly because the opportunity never presented itself and I was a good foot taller than all the prospects. THEN one night me and my friends were hot tubbing at a friends house. In my 16 year old stupor I had mentioned to my friends that I thought this kid was cute. Which... basically meant he was taller than me. SCORE. Anyway, CONVENIENTLY they all just decide to get out of the hot tub and leave me and this kid in there. Of course, like friends do. This guy had broken his arm in a ski accident so he had a cast on it... and he was just keeping it on the side of the hot tub so no water would touched it. Well that was a great idea until he leaned in to kiss me. OMG MY FIRST KISS. He leans in, connects, lips to lips, and *SPLASH*. He dunks his whole cast in the water. We go inside and blood is dripping out of his cast (I think it was an open fracture so he had surgery with screws and everything). Me and all our friends try to dry it out with a blow dryer with no luck. The next morning I wake up to a text saying that he ended up having to go to the ER to have them rewrap it for a small charge of 200 dollars. WHOOPS. How's that for a first kiss. Haha!
5. Pregnancy Fluffs
I was working as a nurse while in my third trimester on the mother baby floor… Anyone that has been in the third trimester of pregnancy knows there’s not a lot of room for anything in your abdominal area besides your baby. Anyway, I was in a patient’s room with her new baby, the dad was on one side of me and the mom was on the other. The baby started gagging while laying in the bassinet so I hurridly bent over to suction it and pat it’s back… in the process of doing so I accidentally let one slip. I farted. With the parents directly behind me. I was MORTIFIED. The baby was fine. The parents acted awkward… They were like “Oh it’s ok!!” (that I had just passed gas) and I was like laugh!!! Just laugh! I would feel so much better if you laughed! Later as I was giving report to the oncoming nurse I told her and had to relive the horror all over again. Hahahahaha. Out of all of the stories... I think that one takes the cake.
I hope these gave you a laugh like they give me a laugh. Do me a favor and let me know which one was your favorite, pregnancy fluffs?! Hahahah. You want me as your nurse don't you!
Thanks for reading!