Why My Pregnancy Weight Gain Isn't a Burden

Thursday, January 7, 2016

I'll never forget the day a random stranger at the vet asked me when I was due and if I was having twins. And then readily spoke of her shock that I was only pregnant with one and 32 weeks. Dear me... When I was pregnant with my first I felt HUGE. I felt like I wasn't even in my body anymore... It was like an out of body experience. Where did my body go? I was familiar with my fit 5'11" 130 pound frame... and now I was walking around in a 200 pound body I didn't recognize. I resented my pregnancy weight gain. I loathed my pregnancy weight gain.

My first pregnancy I wasn't working out consistently at the time I got pregnant so I was afraid to start up a regular exercise routine again. I've been extremely active all my life... running a few half marathons a year, working out 4 to 5 days a week, eating healthy. When I got pregnant all that changed and my body reacted as it should. Turns out I DO gain weight if I stop working out and eat sugary, fried foods. Shocking I know.

With my first pregnancy I spent so much time consumed by how much weight I had gained. I wasn't able to enjoy my newborn baby as much as I could have because I was so frantic over this unfamiliar gut that was hanging over my sweatpants... how my thighs chaffed together when I walked... the blubber hanging off my arm... how the excess fat on my cheeks made my eyes so squinty when I smiled.

As some of you may know, this is why I initially started my blog. To document losing that baby weight. I'm so glad I did because it helped hold me accountable to lose the weight and live a higher level of health. We should always strive to be as healthy as possible!

If you've followed me through it all... you may remember with my SECOND pregnancy (I'm on my third) I was a pregnancy fitness enthusiast. I was determined to stay perfectly in shape my whole pregnancy. Work out every morning, eat healthy, lift weights... I was so focused on staying in the best shape throughout those 9 months. And then at 14 weeks we got the news that baby had trisomy 18 and he no longer had a heartbeat.

As you can imagine, losing a pregnancy felt so much worse than gaining too much weight during a pregnancy. So much worse. Suddenly the idea of staying in perfect shape during my pregnancy seemed like such a trivial concern in comparison to what we now were going through.

After losing our second baby we kept trying to get Jake a sibling... and trying... and trying. Every month was an emotional roller coaster. Are we pregnant? I'm late! I think I'm pregnant! No love you don't understand, I'm like 90% sure I'm pregnant.

And then I wouldn't be pregnant. Time and time again. This went on for another 9 months until we got that positive we had been seeking for. Over a year after initially deciding to try and get Jake a sibling.

Those experiences shaped me... and made me view pregnancy weight gain completely differently. I got pregnant with Jake after the first month of trying, I think I may have took it for granted. 

But now, after losing a pregnancy and taking awhile to get pregnant the second time... I have a completely different outlook. I'm not scared of pregnancy weight at all. I don't view it as a burden...

I view it is a blessing

We have been blessed with the ability to be able to carry life!! How amazing is that! And not only carry life, we are carrying a healthy baby who is gaining weight and thriving. How can I complain about such a small and trivial thing like gaining weight during pregnancy, when women are trying for years and years to be able to do just that! 

Pregnancy weight gain is such a temporary sacrifice for infinite gain. I would gain 70 pounds and lose it over and over again if that's all I had to do to bring a healthy baby into this world, they are worth every ounce of those fat cells. Every ounce of cellulite thighs, flabby arms, and cottage cheese on your behind. Every squinty eye, round face, photo that is taken of you. Every comment from a sweet elderly man asking if you "have twins in there". Nothing will be a bigger blessing in your life than that little soul growing in you.

Pregnancy weight gain is not a burden to me, because I'm doing my best to be healthy while pregnant, as we all should! I'm eating as healthy as I can manage and I'm working out as often as situation permits. And guess what, this pregnancy I haven't even been STEPPING on a scale. Except at the doctors, and when that happens I look away.

Why? Because that's not important to me. Weight is not important to me. This time around I have vowed to do my best to enjoy all of pregnancy (ok, that first trimester sickness thing was real hard I admit) but I'm not going to let my fears of "looking like a whale" take away from fully enjoying every moment of this blessing growing inside of me. I waited so long to feel these little kicks, they are worth every other unpleasant pregnancy symptom.

And guess what, I'm healthy. I'm still working out and trying to not eat ice-cream everyday. If extra weight finds it's way onto my body you won't find me stressing about it, I've lost it before and I'll lose it again. Carrying this tiny soul is worth it all.

So grow baby grow. I'm honored that my body is the vessel that will carry you and bring you to earth with your forever family. We can't wait to meet you. I have the whole rest of my life to be thin, but only 9 months to carry the blessing that is you.




6 comments :

  1. Amen to that! I am currently 26 weeks pregnant after a miscarriage at 12 weeks. With my first pregnancy, my thoughts were consumed with fears of getting too big and not looking like myself. It took us soooo long to conceive that first time...and then to loose it all 12 weeks in... I was devastated and broken. Needless to say, this time around I've gained some perspective and although I'm trying to eat healthy and workout when I'm not too tired...I'm not letting it take over my thoughts like it did before. I'm just so grateful to be given a second chance to create a family. Spending my time thinking about my blessings, rather than the burden of pregnancy weight gain is a much better way to spend my time. I hope all goes well with you and your little one! Enjoy every moment.

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  2. I just discovered your blog and I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE it! Besides the fact that this particular post came at the perfect time (I'm 30 weeks and constantly stressing about if I'm gaining too much weight), your blog has the perfect mix of fashion-health-home-mommy posts. I can't wait to continue reading!

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  3. Aloha! I'm so thankful that I discovered your blog via Pinterest. What a beautiful way you've described the process of growing for baby :) I am so sorry for the loss of your second child - we had a miscarriage at ten weeks, and that was beyond difficult. Praying for your pregnancy to be smooth. <3 Thank you for sharing!

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  4. i love this. such an inspiring perspective and filled with so much love. thank you so much for sharing.

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  5. thanks for posting this. this is our first pregnancy. it came easy, similar to yours. but the weight gain has literally caused me to break into tears more than once. I normally weigh 115-120, but started this pregnancy heavier than normal at 140. we're 33 weeks now, and i weigh in at 180. typically i look at it all like a huge mountain that i'll have to climb just to get back to my normal weight and i get bummed, and scared, and sad because right now it feels impossible... but then i read your post about how you lost it all in 9 months. and that was encouraging. and then reading how you were so focused on your second pregnancy to be fit, but the baby died...i cried for you. you have reminded me of what is most important, and that i must remain thankful for the life within me, not cry over the weight without.

    because this isn't about being fit, or not getting fat. this is about bringing a new life into the world. and there's no shame in that, not matter how much weight i put on. as long as i'm keeping us healthy, we're fine.

    thank you for reminding me of what is most important.

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